Rah, rah, sizz-boom-bah.

In less than 24 hours, I’ll be dropping off-line / off-phone / off-grid / off-my-rocker for a 5-day media-freedom fast.

I’m bloody excited, to evoke a Kiwi colloquialism.
Quite a few of you have committed to digi-breaks of your own design. And that’s divine.

Over the past week or so — as time started spinning closer to the start of my sabbatical — a number of real-world communication & connection practicalities percolated into my mind-tank.

Like…what if someone I care about gets sick? What if my car breaks down on the side of the road? What if I get lost in a dark, lonely catacomb? What if a client has an, uh, “copywriting emergency”? What if Oprah descends from the high heavens in a velvet chariot led by silvery unicorn-cherubs and demands that I ghostwrite her next edition of “What I Know For Sure”? WHAT THEN?!

With these pressing concerns at heart, I’ve re-tuned my Rules of (Dis)engagement, ever-so-slightly.

Here’s the (new) world order:

:: Laptop = fully, irrevocably, unquestionably OFF. No ifs, ands or buts.

:: Phone = getting flipped upside down and shoved in a drawer.

An addendum (or three):

1. As I am infamously directionally-challenged, I will allow myself to use my Droid for Google Map directions.

2. My friends are not yet willing to let me invade their minds with telekinetic scheduling powers, so I’ll have to rely on text messages to schedule playdates & gatherings. I’ll check for invitations & confirmations thrice a day: dawn & noon & dusk. And thazzit.

3. I will also check my voicemail once a day, to make sure no one I adore has perished…and to see if I have any long-distance love messages. Want to leave me a message during my sabbatical? Eee! I’m wiggly all over. Call me, toll-free (in the USA) at 1-855-RING-ALX. Outside ObamaLand? Use Skype International for cheapo dialage.

:: TV = nopez. (Not even Netflix. Not even a little.
…not even if my foxy Goth-Geek-Beau says, “Let’s watch 16 Candles, drink strawberry sparkling wine and talk about our feeeeeelings!”

:: Snail mail = YES. (Like it’s going outta style.)
Writing postcards is gonna be a daily sanity-preserving ritual.

:: Music = abso-total-utely.
If you’ve got any must-listen playlist additions, I’d love to hear ‘em.

:: Silence = frequently. As needed. And with intention.

And now, a practicality pep rally

If you’re ramping up for an offgrid adventure of 48 hours (or more), it’s not a bad idea to forewarn your clients, comrades & colleagues with a prep message — and then a vacation auto-responder whilst you’re away. Icing on the cake? Pre-schedule your Twitter messages, or post a simple “I’m offline & feelin’ fine. See you on the flipside” parting shot.

Here’s a near-verbatim replica of the fair-warning template I used, for my micro-handful of recurring clients (feel free to make it your own):

Hey there, #name#,

A gleeful reminder :: I’ll be offline / off-phone / off-TV / off gallivanting around the pristine lakes & rivers of Minnesota from July 20 – 25.

[ In this section, describe how you're gonna work in advance and / or create clever systems to make sure your client or employer's empire is running tickety-boom, while you're away. With concise specificity & foresight. And expectation-managing TLC. Customize this blurb for each client, of course. ]

Thanks for supporting my (much-needed) media hiatus. And for your general bad-assery.

Over ‘n out.

:: A

See? No sweat.

And if you’re buggin’ out about inbox overload, why not bring a temporary Virtual Assistant on board, to hack & thwack & sort & shuffle your electronic missives into manageable niblets…so that when you return, you’ve got a zen-monastery-inbox, not a mélange of pure madness?

My top picks for virtual chickadees: Angie Wheeler from EasyWK and Cassie Oswald & Hillary Weiss from Young Blood Sourcery. Don’t got no money to invest in a VA? Rock out filters & labels to automate your email purification.

Last but not least…do some minutia wrangling, and make sure your billz are set to auto-pay, your domain names are set to auto-renew, your blog articles are scheduled to auto-post, and nothing’s gonna implode if you’re not there to click “confirm.”

Deep breath. And exhale. You’re SO wonderful & vivid & crucial. And yet, the world WILL chug along without you, for a day, a week, or more. That’s the dualistic tension of humanity. You are star…dust.

With manic dreams & humble hopes, for all of us…

Image via :: Malwitz Surfboards. Neon surf-rock stripes? It just felt right.

Want to go public with your media freedom?
Pump your fist in the air, with a purdy badge.

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