“There’s a New American Dream.”
So states Laura Simms, creator of From Passion To Profit.
If you hang out here once or twice a week, I suspect you’d concur.
Climbing the corporate ladder, in the hopes of a 3.5% annual salary increase and (joy of joys!) three blessed weeks of vacation, ‘stead of two?
Not the apex of awesomeness it used to be, for many.
Not even remotely appealing, for some.
Nostrils to the grindstone, from 18 to 65, and then a blissful retirement in south Florida, with the grandkids bouncing on your knee?
Maybe.
Or maybe several careers that serve your multifarious talents and interests, and tai chi lessons in the permaculture garden that you helped plant…at age 103.
Dating, then engagement, then marriage, then mortgage, then baby, then another?
Possibly.
Or possibly buying a house on your own, as a 24-year old — ’cause it feels right.
And not having kids, ever — ’cause it doesn’t.
389 days ago, I quit my 9-to-5 job. In the months leading up to quittin’ day, I heard the following phrase about four dozen times:
“Well, if anyone can do it, it’s you.”
It was a compliment — a vote of confidence — but it saddened me. Deeply. Why me? Why not you? Why not…everyone? The idea that freedom, travel, adventure, breathing space and sizzling-circuit-board passion should be relegated to a select few — a special breed — was a major brow-furrower.
A year (& change) down the line, I’ve had a few minor epiphanies. One of ‘em? Not everyone is die-cut for entrepreneurship — and that’s not sad, it’s just diversity. After all, someone has to flip the burgers. Deliver the mail. Fly the jet planes that get me where I wanna go. One man’s calculated risk is another’s catastrophe. My field is your box. My box is your circus.
So, when Laura Simms asked me to write a post for From Passion To Profit — a post about the highs & lows of my first year of full-blown entrepreneurship — my first instinct was to do a tactical, bullet-point, what-worked-what-didn’t parade of pointers.
And then I remembered: My field is your box. My box is your circus.
Sometimes, I dispense tactics, when what I really wanna deliver is a story. Stories are universal. Tactics are personal.
In the spirit of storytelling — and of alchemizing passion into profit — I’m offering three vignettes from a year on the verge…of (my) new American Dream.
Agony
About 10 months ago, I had a Come To Jesus moment. With $1,600 in my checking account, and gads of (low-paying) résumé design & cover letter editing projects for (highly-demanding) clients, I felt a pulsing sense of dread in my cardiovascular system. Things were looking pretty dire for Ol’ Man Franzen. I wasn’t playing to my strengths, and it showed. In my bank account. And in my aura.
I cuddled up to my worst-case scenario (losing my house could have a certain Dust Bowl / Great Depression charm! Hobos always look pretty chipper! I kinda like ramen noodles!) and got real about my rates, revenue streams and client boundaries. I called my mom. I sobbed — a lot. I liquefied my retirement account (just in case). I put all my bills on my credit card (temporarily). I took a deep breath. And then, I launched my shiny new website, re-positioned my services, designed my last résumé (thank you & goodNIGHT!), got crystal-clear ’bout my ideal clients (rejoice, rejoice), and watched, agog, as the cash came crushing in.
Doing my taxes this year was pretty fun. (Tripling your income is neat.)
(boys)
I’m a lesbian, but this year I dated a boy. Or three. As they say on the Facebookz, “it’s complicated.”
My dark-haired RogueBoy called me up, at 2 pm, one afternoon. A walk by the river? A beer? Why not? 15 minutes later, I was horizontal on the sun-warmed grass, watching Union Pacific trains crawl across the horizon, my thumbs hooked into a boy’s (!!) belt loops. He smelled like French Fries and cigarettes. I couldn’t stop grinning. Crazy. Stupid. Totally happening. At 2:15 pm on a Tuesday.
Totally happening, because of my new work-life-sex-play-biz mantra:
“Never again. Except just this once.”
SUCCESS
One week ago. T’was a Sunday night, and my mom pulled out her ukelele. We sat down and started jamming. I was crooning in my virgin-choir-girl soprano. She chimed in with her retired-opera-singer vibrato. We recorded our first track. It was light. It was lovely. It was purely for pleasure. And we vowed to take our One Song Band on the road…to Ireland, Scotland, Wales — and beyond.
I was there. Present. In my PJs. Unplugged. Unfettered. With my momma. Because I OWN my time. Because my entrepreneurial life is location independent. Because spending time with my family — not just for birthdays and funerals, but for spontaneous cups of tea, Richard Thompson sing-alongs, and walking by the sea — is a priority. For me.
You can set — and shatter — barometers. Lock down — and loosen — metrics of success. Hold yourself accountable to your progress. And all that jazz.
But success can be a simple ballad, too.
What’s your American — or Canadian, or Australian, or Lithuanian — Dream?
Are you sure?
Just checking.
Graffiti art of nekkid ladies riding robot-destroyers snapped by me.
In Melbourne. Near a street fair. It felt like a metaphor for…something.
Honestly? I just wanted you to see it. You understand, right?
I mean, c’mon. Exactly.
In case you’re wondering, my Norwegian(!) dream is a lot like yours.
As a 3rd year law student (only two more to go), I’ve had to realize that I’m not cut out for the 9 to 5.Or, wait, make that 9 to 9 or something like that if you wish to work for a major firm. (And I’m studying l-aw. Come ON, self, what were you thinking!?!)
So I’m redefining THE dream, just because I can. And I think it’s got to do something with juicy writing and entrepreneurship. It’s the dream 2.0.
My American dream is:
Working with the cleverest, silliest crafters in my (handdyed flannel, handmade-by-me) pj pants.
Spur-of-the-moment trips to the (3 hours away) beach.
Picking up my little brothers (11 + 12) from school early to play Rock Band all night.
Baking whenever the mood strikes.
Dreaming up a sweet-tea+homebrewed rootbeer business (and its rockabilly brand) with my darling boy.
Staying up late just talking about everything and then sleeping in the next day.
Hm. Thanks for the question, Alex, this perked me right up!
Thank you for the fabulous stories!
I’ve been sick as a dog for a week, so I’ve had a rough time getting my work done. I needed to be reminded that even though self employment is the hardest job I’ve ever had, I chose it for many good reasons. :)
I love that you recorded your first track with your momma. I loved that you tried boys because that particular boy felt pretty great.
I love that you got real with your life.
I love your all that.
I had to chime in since we’re chasing the new american dream.
It’s funny though b/c to some folks we look like we’re on the same old american dream. Hetero couple with three kids under six, bought their first home etc. etc. But there’s a whole new spin. We don’t have jobs, our kids are school free and we all live in less than 800 sq ft so we can live downtown and walk everywhere.
We’re insisting on doing it our way–and the funny thing is, sometimes we realize there’s a good reason for for why people do the things they do and a lot of the time we’re just so happy to be writing our own rules.
My dream is not unlike yours – except with a lot more food and less singing (I’m not gifted in that area, but you sure as hell here, whoa!) I don’t necessarily know how to organize my life as freelance food & travel writer in a way that attracts publicists and publications, but hopefully I’ll figure it out soon enough :)
I appreciate your words and your spirit as you share them here!
My dream is getting clearer: One day I’ll be on the phone/skype in the afternoon helping some one figure it out…what’s blocking them, what there next move is, etc, and being like “uh, huh, i get it”…because I really do and I can help…to be writing e-books on my laptop in my pjs that make a difference in how people think about and take charge of their life and really living their life. I’ll be going to cycling class at 9:30am on a week day or joggin’ with the husband…because our health is important and we’ll cook together slowly and relaxed with music.
I’ll pick up my kid after school and maybe we’ll be walking because we aren’t in a hurry and I won’t be all wound up because of 9-5 junk. We’ll laugh and I can really laugh because I feel free. I’ve had my agony moment, I’ve got two boys (kid & spuse), so I guess success is next!
thank you thank you
I’m currently writing my own American dream and it scares the bejeezus outta me, but it’s something I’ve gotta do. Status Quo just isn’t cutting it!
I love your story!
MARTHE :: Viva Norway! (I’m 50% Swedish, so can I be in your Scandi-Club?)
TARA :: Uh, send me somma dat homemade rootbeer. Plz + thx.
LINDA MERCURY :: And the good reasons keep comin’, no?
BRIDGET :: I love your “all that,” too.
HILLARY :: My folks tried to homeschool me…I (they?) lasted precisely 1 month. And I was back on the public school bus, like whoa.
RACHAEL :: More food + Less singing = Possible tagline?
JEN :: Success is usually next. Or, like…now.
DEANNA :: I’d love to see your American Dream! Post it ‘n link it, plz.
Thank you. Lots of things in sync with me today–especially this.
Brilliant. I’m particularly fond of, “Not everyone is die-cut for entrepreneurship — and that’s not sad, it’s just diversity.” I have lots of goals and dreams, and one of them I’m happily living at my 9 to 5, being creative and saving the world from environmental degradation. For a couple of months I felt guilty for loving my job and relegating any crafty, art pursuits to a hobby. I quickly transitioned from guilt to screw that. I’m lucky to love my job and the joy of making things for fun (without the pressure of having to be good enough to earn a living at it).
ALISHA :: Honored to be synchronized with you, any way, any day.
SERENA :: Reminds me of a line from my 2010 Manifesto:
“I attract prosperity, but not everything needs to be monetized. I can also create for the sake of pure creation.”
XO to all y’all. F’real. Freaky-style.
Wow – 50% Scandi.
Pls join the club – we are honored to have U :)
And we could def. use some of your rock ‘n’ roll attitude – and American dreaming.
One of my (Danish) mentors once said: “We might not be a religious nation. But we sure are believers – and our God is SECURITY”.
A lot of good things to say about that – but risk-taking and dreaming BIG aren’t necessarily among them :)
I related to so many things on this Post! Some things (money, cough cough) I still struggle with a lot, but I am only even in Minneapolis because I followed a whim to Iowa (which even the free-est of spirits give me odd looks about) which led me here so I COMPLETELY get where you’re coming from about doing what feels right. I too have gone through a boy phase (although that was a couple of years ago, but I still stand by those feelings and decisions) as a lesbian, and I have definitely stopped doing things that don’t feel right in my career…and most recently, my social life. I love reading other free spirits’ posts like this because it affirms that I’m doing it right :)
As for my American dream…it involves a cute little building, nothing too fancy but chock full o’ vintage and handmade stuffs, with “Gadfly Theatre Productions” and an artsy-fartsy mural of some sort on the wall you walk in at. It involves six shows a year, all GLBT and feminist fare, and about 200 seats in the house. 2 directed by me, 2 directed by Manny, and 2 directed by guest artists (who we are actually able to pay fair directing stipends). I don’t know where it is yet…it might be in Minneapolis, it might be somewhere on the West Coast…my suspicion is that my ‘settling down’ will end up back on the NE coast somewhere. There is of course a lovely lady sharing in my joy who makes me laugh and think in turn about a billion times a day. My business partner is also happily committed, and the father figure to my adopted bambinos. I have a lot of pets too, but am never afraid OR too broke to travel when I’m not directing or doing crucial in-house administration and I love taking the whole fam with me (if they want to come). I have a whole library in my house for my books, a viewing room for films, but beyond that it’s pretty modest, but again, full of vintage and handmade fun everywhere you turn. In my free time, my photos sell at art exhibitions all over the world, and my tarot card client base is strong but not overwhelming. My side directing gigs include everything from Avant-Garde London Street Art to my kids’ middle school play. I have met and become friends with a)Maggie Gyllenhaal, who agreed to do my show at standard equity rate when Gadfly’s building first opened, and b) Wes Anderson, who has let me assistant direct some of his newer work. I stay busy, I travel a lot, and I can pay myself a comfortable salary to support this (although if I’m helping Wes Anderson direct and selling my photos at exhibitions, I’m probably doing okay anyway).
AH, I’m getting all dreamy now. Must get ready to work, to work towards this…
OH, and Curve and Bitch magazine have lauded what I’ve done and how I’ve changed the face of queer and feminist art for the better.
Super love this, Alex. You can tell you’re on the right track :)
My dream consists of working hard at a creative, flexible, primarily online business for around 20-30 hours a week ,while having plenty of time to be outside in the sun, thinking up yummy healthy meals and enough cash to be comfortable and help others. Can’t wait to make it all happen! This is the big year of action!
Loved how you wrote the vignettes! You definitely are a great story teller. I am still working on my dream… similar to yours. Working online blahblah. I used to think it was cutting edge but now it seems to be the new norm. and, this is random but oh well. even though i have only dated boys, sometimes i still wonder if i’m really a lesbian… *shrugs*
KATY :: I love that befriending Maggie Gyllenhaal is one of your core life goals. Specificity is magic!
ALANA :: Big action is way hot. Wishing you powah!
JANET :: Haha. “Working online blahblah” is actually a hilarious tagline. Do it. ;)
I loved this post so much! I really relate to feeling of needing a drastic change in order to start feeling successful and happy in life again. I’m not sure what my Canadian dream is at the end of the day, I feel like it is constantly changing and evolving as I get older and I don’t want to pigeonhole myself into just one thing. As long as I am surrounded by people that I love and doing something I love doing, I think I can be happy.
GAB :: Drastic or micro, life is nuthin’ but CHANGE. Even when we think everything’s static…it ain’t. xo.
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I know this is an old post, but it really spoke to me. I love hearing that all bright stars were once lowly student such as myself living off of noodles (haha). Not to get all gushy, but you’re like seriously inspirational, or something. You go Glen Coco!